How to Use the Imago Dialogue When You and Your Partner Don't See Eye to Eye

You know the argument. It starts small, and ten minutes later you're both talking over each other, defending yourselves, and somehow fighting about something from three years ago. Nobody feels heard. Nobody feels understood. You both walk away more alone than when you started.

The problem usually isn't that you don't love each other. It's that when we feel hurt or threatened, our nervous systems go into protection mode. We stop listening to understand and start listening to respond.

The Imago Dialogue is a simple, structured way of talking that slows the conversation down so both of you can actually be heard. You don't need to be in couples therapy to use it. You just need a willingness to try something different the next time you and your partner don't see eye to eye.