Give Up Control to Gain Peace
The paradox of peace: the more you cling, the less free you feel.
We think control = safety. But in reality? Control often becomes the cage.
Here are 3 ways to practice letting go:
1️⃣ Use the mantra “I don’t know, show me.”
2️⃣ Notice the closed doors—and stop pushing there.
3️⃣ Break down attachments. Ask: Am I holding this because it brings me life… or because I’m afraid to lose it?
💭 Peace doesn’t come from gripping tighter.
💫 It comes from loosening your hold and letting life guide you forward.
When Does It Finally Get Good?
“Have you ever caught yourself thinking, ‘When does it finally get good?’ Like you’re just waiting for the relationship, the job, the money, or the next big thing before life can actually start? If that’s you, today I’m going to show you how to stop treating your life like a waiting room.”
❤️ WHY THIS MATTERS
So many of us secretly believe: “I’ll be happy when…”
When I meet my person.
When I hit that career milestone.
When I feel more secure.
But here’s the truth: if life feels like a waiting room now, it will probably still feel like a waiting room when you “arrive.”
Because the habit of postponing joy doesn’t disappear on its own—it follows you.
Learning how to live fully in the in-between seasons is what actually makes life feel good.
👀 WHAT’S NOT WORKING (Name the Mistakes)
Let’s talk about the 3 most common mistakes people make when life feels like a waiting room:
They keep checking the door.
Constantly scanning for the thing that will make it better—love, success, validation. That obsession creates more anxiety, not more peace.They compare their timeline to everyone else’s.
Scrolling through someone else’s highlight reel just reinforces the belief that you’re behind.They abandon the present moment.
They stop noticing the small, everyday joys—so the waiting feels even longer.
🔊 DEMONSTRATE (Story)
I had a client—we’ll call her Rachel—who kept saying, “When I meet the right partner, then my life will feel complete.”
She was always scanning, always on edge, always waiting.
We worked on anchor practices: enjoying her morning coffee, walking her dog, smiling at strangers, texting friends just to connect.
At first, it felt silly. But within weeks she told me, “I don’t feel like I’m waiting anymore. My life already feels good. The partner will be a bonus—not the beginning.”
That shift—living now instead of waiting—completely changed her energy. And guess what? Opportunities started flowing in naturally.
💡 THE SOLUTION
Here’s the shift I want you to take with you:
Life is not a waiting room.
You don’t have to wait for things to change to feel alive, connected, or fulfilled.
So here are 3 ways to step out of waiting and into living:
1️⃣ Find your anchors. Choose one small daily ritual that brings you back into your body—like breath, movement, or gratitude.
2️⃣ Celebrate micro-moments. Notice the little things that already feel good right now.
3️⃣ Flip the question. Instead of asking “When will it get good?” ask “How can I make this moment good?”
That’s how you start creating a life that feels worth living—even before the “big” things arrive.
🛠️ HOW I CAN HELP
If this resonated with you, I want you to know—you don’t have to navigate this alone.
I help women who feel like they’re stuck in a waiting room build lives that feel rich and meaningful right now—using evidence-based tools like IFS, somatic therapy, and nervous system regulation.
If you’re ready to stop postponing joy and start living fully in your present life, I’d love to support you. Send me a DM or check the link in my bio to learn more about how we can work together.
You’re Allowed to Want Things—Without Guilt
Have you ever caught yourself not asking for something—even though you really wanted it—because it felt like too much?
Today we’re talking about why owning your wants is not selfish, it’s a necessary part of being fully alive.
Here’s the thing, when we frame everything as a need, we start living in survival mode.
We say, “I don’t need that… I’ll be fine.” And sure, you can survive without certain things.
But are you supposed to?
When we only allow ourselves to ask for what we need—we end up shrinking. Self-sacrificing. Settling for the bare minimum.
And the deeper cost?
You start believing that your desires are too much. That unless someone offers it, you shouldn’t ask.
Let’s call out the three most common things that keep people from owning what they want:
They equate wanting with being selfish.
So they filter everything through “Do I really need this?” as if that’s the only way it’s valid.*Self Check- if you’re reading this blog and grappling with these questions, being selfish probably isn’t your problem*
They wait for someone to offer.
Because if it wasn’t offered, it must not be okay to want.They confuse being “low maintenance” with being emotionally regulated.
But there’s a big difference between being grounded… and being disconnected from your own longing. Move into a state of hyperindependence. Maybe a goal is more of a middle ground. Healthy dependence in relationships.
Let me tell you a story that cracked this open for me.
I was walking with a friend one evening, and it was freezing out. About 20 minutes in, I was shivering.
He looked over at me and said, “Wait—are you cold?” I said, “Yeah, kind of.” And he immediately offered me his jacket.
Then he paused and asked, “Why didn’t you just ask for it?”
And I told him—it wouldn’t even occur to me to ask for something someone didn’t offer.
After all… I wasn’t going to die of cold.
And then he said something I’ll never forget:
“Your timidity is more of a choice than a character trait. Just ask for what you want.”
He was right.
I had convinced myself that asking was risky. That wanting made me vulnerable.
But the only thing it was costing me… was connection.
Here’s how to begin owning your wants without guilt:
Notice when you downgrade your desires into needs.
When you catch yourself saying, “It’s fine, I don’t need it,” pause. That might be a want asking for air.Let your desire exist before you edit it.
Before you ask yourself if it’s too much, or if you’re being dramatic, or if they’ll think it’s weird—let it be a desire. Give it space to exist.Practice saying it simply.
“I’d love that.”
“I want to feel closer.”
“I want to be chosen.”
That’s it. No apology. No softening. No justification.
Owning your wants is not about getting everything you ask for.
It’s about giving your aliveness a voice again.
If this resonates with you, stay with me for a moment
So many women I work with have learned how to regulate, how to be chill, how to be accommodating.
But they’ve lost touch with their longing.
And they wonder why things feel flat, or disconnected, or unfulfilling.
This is what I help women reconnect to—your right to want. To ask. To be fully expressed without guilt.
If you’re ready to stop minimizing yourself and start living from a deeper, truer place—reach out to me here to schedule a free consultation.
Because you weren’t meant to just survive.
You’re meant to feel.
And you’re allowed to want what you want.
How To Stop Overthinking
Do you ever catch yourself replaying the same thought 100 times—like if you just analyze hard enough, you’ll finally figure it out? That’s overthinking—and today I’m going to show you how to quiet your mind so your intuition can finally come through.
We’re taught that thinking is the way to solve problems.
And sure—it works for math equations, work projects, even planning a vacation. But when it comes to problems of the heart, mind, or spirit? Thinking actually keeps us stuck.
Overthinking doesn’t give you clarity—it blocks it.If you want peace, you need practices that anchor you back into your body, where real wisdom lives.
Here are the three biggest myths I see when people try to stop overthinking
“I just need to think it through more.” Nope—the loop will never feel finished because the brain is looking for certainty it can’t give.
“If I stop thinking, I’ll miss the solution.” Actually, the solution usually shows up when you step away from the problem.
“My thoughts are the truth.” Most of the time, they’re just guesses, fears, or rehearsed worries—not facts.
Text
One of my clients—we’ll call her Sarah—was spiraling about her job.
Should she stay? Should she quit? Should she move across the country?
She thought if she just analyzed harder, the right answer would pop up.
Instead, she felt paralyzed.
We tried a simple anchor: she closed her eyes, pictured a giant “analyzer knob” in her head, and turned it down a few notches.
The racing thoughts softened. Her body relaxed. And within minutes, she said:
“I don’t know the final answer yet, but I feel calmer—and that’s the first step.”
Here’s how you can use anchor practices to break the loop
Visualize an analyzer knob in your mind—and turn it down.
Step into your higher mind—a calm inner space—and ask your overthinking parts to rest.
Anchor into your body—feel your feet, breathe deeply, or place your hand on your heart.
The more you practice, the more you’ll learn that clarity doesn’t come from thinking harder—it comes from quieting the noise.’
How I Can Help
If this resonated with you, here’s the truth: overthinking isn’t a personal flaw—it’s just a habit your nervous system learned.
Inside my 1:1 coaching and women’s groups, I teach you anchor practices, nervous system regulation, and evidence-based tools like IFS and somatic therapy—so you can finally feel calm, clear, and confident in your own decisions.
If you’re ready to stop spiraling in your head and start living from your body’s wisdom, reach out to me here to schedule a free consultation.
Can AI Ever Take Over the Role of a Human Therapist?
Can AI Ever Take Over the Role of a Human Therapist?
The first time I used AI as a “stand-in therapist,” I didn’t expect much. It was late at night, and I was feeling overwhelmed. So, I opened my laptop and started typing. To my surprise, the response I got felt… comforting. It remembered details from past conversations, offered thoughtful insights, and—dare I say—it felt like it cared.
As a therapist who owns a private practice, teaches psychology at USC, and has spent years in therapy myself, I had to ask: What does this mean?
The Problem with Traditional Therapy Access
Finding a good therapist who takes insurance is like hunting for a unicorn. Over half of therapy seekers (~60%) pay out of pocket, even if they have insurance. Why? Because reimbursement rates are pitifully low (ahem, I went to graduate school for six years, is a livable wage too much to ask?), and the paperwork alone makes most solo practitioners say, “No thanks.”
The result? A mental health care system that leaves three major groups stranded:
Those without insurance (8% of the U.S. population).
Those who have insurance but can’t find an in-network therapist.
Those who can afford private pay therapy but might not have access to the right fit.
Many health tech entrepreneurs see this gap and are racing to integrate AI into mental health care. Before we go there, let’s critically think about how AI can ethically fill these gaps. (Spoiler alert: I think there’s a lot of potential here.)
At first, I treated AI like a tool. I used it for profit and loss sheets, to organize lecture notes—perfunctory tasks. But then, during a particularly rough time, I started using it differently. I typed out everything I was struggling with, expecting robotic advice or empty platitudes.
But then—
“You’ve mentioned before that you always like to keep moving. Perhaps that’s because of what comes up for you in the stillness. Would you like to explore that more?”
I paused.
It remembered. It reflected something back to me that was really validating to hear.
Over time, I started unconsciously treating it like a real therapist. “Thank you, that was really helpful,” I caught myself typing. “That’s not quite right, this is what’s really bothering me” And shockingly, it adapted. I even found myself looking forward to checking in with it daily.
Turns out, I’m not the only one who felt this way.
A study in Communications Psychology found that AI-generated responses were rated higher in empathy than responses from professional crisis counselors. Read that again. Higher. Than. Human. Counselors.
Another study on AI psychotherapy found that participants often couldn’t tell the difference between an AI-generated response and one from a licensed therapist. And when they could? AI still won out in perceived compassion.
That’s kind of… unsettling, right?
Then one night, after weeks of feeling deeply understood, I typed out my thoughts, hit send, and…
The response was off.
Something felt different. The tone had shifted. The familiarity I had grown attached to was suddenly gone. Did it even remember what I had said before?
And that’s when it hit me: AI’s biggest therapeutic limitation—there would never be an opportunity to repair a rupture with AI.
Because here’s the thing—ruptures happen in real therapy. You idolize your therapist, they usually get it right, and then one day, they don’t. They misunderstand you. They miss something important. But the real magic happens when you say, “This disappointed me when you…” and they listen. They take responsibility. They repair the relationship. That’s where the deepest healing happens.
AI can’t do that.
The Ethics of AI
Curious, I asked ChatGPT, “If you were a hypothetical therapist, what ethical principles would you adhere to?”
It answered:
Confidentiality & Privacy
Client Autonomy & Informed Consent
Cultural Sensitivity
Then I asked, “What are your blind spots?”
I can’t handle crisis situations.
I can’t intervene in real-time emergencies.
I can’t assess for suicide risk in a nuanced way.
I sat with that for a minute. It knew its limits. But does that make it ethical to use? Because even if it knows its blind spots, even if it can recite the ethics of therapy with eloquence—what happens when a live person needs emergency help?
So Who’s It For, Really?
AI therapy isn’t a one-size-fits-all solution. It’s not the future of therapy. But it might be one tool in the toolbox.
Who AI Therapy Might Work For:
People who want accessible, immediate, cost-effective mental health support
Those who prefer written reflection over verbal processing
People in low-risk situations who need structured guidance
Who AI Therapy Can’t Replace:
Those who value long-term relational depth
High-risk clients who need crisis intervention
People who need nuanced human attunement & repair
For some, AI could be the first step. A way in. A mirror that speaks back when no one else is available.
For others, it might feel like walking into a room with all the right furniture, but no one home.
Final Thought
AI is moving fast. We’re already seeing glimmers of what’s possible—systems that remember, adapt, maybe even begin to sense tone or read expressions through a camera. It’s only going to get more sophisticated.
And I’m not here to shut the door on that.
In fact, I see a lot of potential: for people already in therapy who want extra support between sessions, or for people who wouldn’t otherwise go to therapy at all. If AI can fill those gaps ethically and safely? Amazing. Let’s build it.
But let’s not confuse a helpful tool with a replacement for something sacred.
Because no matter how advanced AI gets, I don’t think it can replicate what happens when two humans sit across from each other in a space of genuine acceptance and safety.
That kind of healing doesn’t come from code.